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NaPoWriMo Poems by You #4: What Will I Make of Myself by Michaela Brooks

Sarah and Jeff Boyle

"Tools" by Moyan Brenn. Shared courtesy of a Creative Commons License. 

"Tools" by Moyan Brenn. Shared courtesy of a Creative Commons License

What Will I Make of Myself

When society rejects you and your old life has left you, what will you make of yourself?

When your luck has expired and you’re left confused and tired, what will you make of yourself?

These are the times in which you are classified, when the world says no, applications denied, you’re tossing and turning against the enormity of choice and the irony of isolation and your lack of a voice, then I ask what will you make of yourself? 

Opinions rushing around from every self conceited success, and their arrogance and narrow minded nature makes you feel like more of a mess.

On your phone you scroll through the benign plethora of posts all screaming ‘HELLO, LOOK LIFE REWARDED ME THE MOST!’ 

And your mind returns to the obvious 

‘What will I make of myself?’ 

Time though plentiful seems to slip through your fingers. Your age however young is the quantity of your failure that lingers. You had a dream that now seems inconsequential. The world is cruel to those with a heart that’s so sentimental. 

‘What will you make of yourself?’

No one can hear the turmoil or the anxiety with in, all they see are the qualifications, the jobs, the awards that you win. Your friends might tell you that they believe in you and your real response is ‘why?’ when it seems more often than not you’re just doing your best not to cry. 

There’s no pleasurable nostalgia from delving into the past, confidence that once poured out, now spilt and remains in the past. 

‘What will you make of yourself?’

You won’t truly know yourself until you know this day. When you’ve hit rock bottom and no one but you can say,

'What will I make of myself?'

by Michaela Brooks, age 19